10 Secrets of a Good, Long Life

Sure, great genes give you a head start. But to get as far as these folks have, you need to say "so long" to stress

By Julie Connelly

It's official: stress makes you old.

While researchers have long been piecing together all the ways chronic stress undermines our health, a new study from the University of California at San Francisco (UCSF) confirmed what we suspected all along: stress really does age you.

What happens, researchers learned, is that constant stress causes the telomeres—tiny caps on cells' chromosomes that govern cell regeneration—to get smaller. When a cell's telomeres get too short, the cell stops dividing and eventually dies.

Researchers discovered that the telomeres (pronounced teal-o-meers) of women with chronically ill children were much shorter than those of women the same age who weren't caregivers. Moreover, the greater the women perceived their stress levels, the shorter their telomeres—and the "older" their cells. "These telomeres are one of the few biological markers of aging we have," says Judy Moskowitz, Ph.D., a psychologist at UCSF who worked on the research.

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But wait, you're probably saying: what happened to the women who didn't perceive their lives as stressful? Stress didn't age them nearly as much. "For them, stress is like water off a duck's back," says Thomas Perls, M.D., an associate professor of medicine at Boston University and the director of the New England Centenarian Project, a nationwide study of 1,500 people over the age of 100 and their children. "It isn't the amount of stress that matters but how you manage it."

In fact, a number of the centenarians Perls has studied have endured plenty of stress. After all, they lived through the Great Depression and World Wars I and II, not to mention the usual array of divorces, deaths of loved ones, and even job losses. "Yet they don't seem to internalize it," Perls says. "They just let it go."

AARP decided to ask a few stress veterans—chosen from the 4 million lucky Americans who have sailed past their 85th birthday—for their secrets to staying young, both mentally and, as it turns out, physically as well.


"Just deal the cards, okay?"

Pauline "Dully" Kirn
Age: 90
City: Lancaster, Ohio
Stress-reducing secret: Playing bridge

"Will this take long?" says Pauline "Dully" Kirn when asked about stress. "I'm in the middle of a game." While the Lancaster, Ohio, woman has plenty of interests, such as collecting antiques, what keeps her going is the steady swirl of her bridge calendar. She has been playing two regular bridge games for decades. "One is a little more cutthroat, and one tends to be a little more chatty," she says. While she thinks missing out on those outings—both the games and the gabfests—might make her cranky, she can't say for sure. "We don't skip games, so we don't have a chance to get grouchy."

Games zap stress Ever since psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi pioneered the study of mental "flow" back in the 1970s, researchers have studied the best ways to achieve this elusive state, in which people are so fully focused on what they are doing that time seems to stand still. In fact, when Harvard University researchers followed people over the age of 65 for 13 years, those, like Kirn, who enjoyed games found almost as much stress relief and prolonged life expectancy as did those who exercised regularly.


"I keep laughing"

Ernest "Brownie" Brown
Age: 88
City: Chicago
Stress-reducing secret: Having a sense of humor

Ask Brownie Brown if he has stress and he deadpans, "Not yet." But the Chicago native still has plenty of hoofing left in him: he teaches occasionally at the Chicago Rhythm Project and is part of a two-man tap-dancing act that performs around the country. Humor comes naturally to Brown, and he decided to rely on it professionally early in his vaudeville career. (He was best known as half of the duo Cook & Brown and later danced with the Copasetics, a famous tap-dancing troupe.) "Telling jokes on stage gave us a break, so we could save our legs," he says. "I was the funny one, and Cookie was the straight man." Recently, recalls Reggio McLaughlin, Brown's current partner, the pair were performing, and "Brownie starts a bit. 'Reggio, did you know I used to be a boxer named Horizontal Brown?' So I say, 'No, I didn't know that,' and he says, 'Yes—when I come in the ring, everyone is screaming. The men are screaming, the women are screaming.' So I say, 'Why are they screaming, Brownie?' and he says, 'Because I forgot to put my trunks on!' He's just a natural."

Humor zaps stress Studies have shown that people who can appreciate humor are less stressed and anxious. But those, like Brown, who have the ability to make jokes too have an added advantage. According to research from Western Illinois University, they tend to be more secure and confident in their interactions, less lonely, and more likely to see the stress in their lives as lower than that of people who aren't able to joke.


"I don't feel my age. I just feel happy"

Agnes Dill
Age: 91
City: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Stress-reducing secret: Being optimistic

Agnes Dill (right) often feels she was born 50 years too soon. She was the first American Indian woman to go to New Mexico Highlands University "at a time when most Indians were doing menial jobs. Today we're doctors and lawyers." Although Dill became a schoolteacher in Oklahoma after graduation, she never stopped trying to expand educational opportunities for other American Indians, especially women. Her stress-fighting secret is simple: even though macular degeneration prevents her from doing many of the things she used to enjoy, "I'm very optimistic about life," she says. "I accept things as they happen and make them better if I can. Most days, I don't feel my age. I just feel pretty happy."

Optimism zaps stress Researchers from the National Institutes of Health have learned that optimism is a protective trait, but there's still a lot of work to be done in the burgeoning field of positive psychology. "While we know optimists live longer," says UCSF's Moskowitz, "it's not as simple as saying, 'Be happy, damn it.' People may be optimistic because they're healthy, not the other way around." Still, the numbers are impressive: Dutch investigators followed 1,000 people between the ages of 65 and 85 for nine years, and the optimists had a 55 percent lower risk of death.


"I'm passionate about my work"

Bob Brown
Age: 95
City: Big Bear City, California
Stress-reducing secret: Having a sense of purpose

Master leather carver Bob Brown (left) knows more about Hollywood cowboys than almost anyone alive: he crafted the holsters worn by Hopalong Cassidy, Montgomery Clift, and John Wayne. He also befriended many of the actors he worked with. His work is on display in the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum, and over the years, he's taught leather carving to hundreds of artisans. And though he thinks some of his longevity might come from clean living ("I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't carouse"), he believes it's his work that keeps him happy and strong. Long retired, he still keeps regular hours on whatever project he's pursuing. "Right now, it's watercolors. I get up, and I start to work. And if it interests me, I stay up working until midnight."

Work zaps stress In some ways, work and stress have gotten a bum rap—everyone has read studies linking type A workaholism with an increased risk for heart disease, depression, and other health problems. But researchers have found that work people are passionate about—so meaningful that it becomes a calling rather than a nine-to-five—helps reduce stress as well as the risk of depression, according to the Journal of Humanistic Psychology. What's more, work that is flexible, such as that done by Brown, can negate the stressful effects of long hours, according to research from the University of Arkansas.


"Keep your friends close by"

Lilly and Marie Clifford
Ages: 100
City: Grand Forks, North Dakota
Stress-reducing secrets: Maintaining close friendships, talking through troubles

Marie and Lilly Clifford have always been extremely close. The twins, raised in northern North Dakota, both earned teaching certificates, taught for many years (while they lived apart from each other), and then traveled together in retirement. Today they live in an assisted living facility and still rely on each other: Marie doesn't see very well, so Lilly helps her out; Lilly's ears aren't the greatest, so Marie is often the spokesperson, say the nurses who help care for them. Among the oldest surviving twins in the world, neither ever married ("Well, not yet, anyway!"). And they still enjoy each other's company, whether they are attending weekly Mass or watching Bonanza reruns.

Close friendships zap stress Though loneliness has been linked to making all people more susceptible to stress, depression, loss of cognitive ability, and other ills, friendships seem especially protective for women. Shelley Taylor, a re-searcher at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA), has found that most women deal with stress exactly as Marie and Lilly do—they rely on long chats with one another. While men are more likely to go into "fight or flight" mode, women are more likely to "tend and befriend." It works like this: though males and females produce the soothing hormone oxytocin under stress, estrogen tends to enhance the hormone, while testosterone inhibits it. When oxytocin levels are high, people are calmer, more social, and less anxious. These friendships not only help fight stress but may partially explain why women tend to outlive men.


"I try and make the world a better place"

George Gless
Age: 88
City: Boulder, Colorado
Stress-reducing secret: Finding meaning

Electrical engineer George Gless retired from teaching at the University of Colorado back in 1982, but he didn't give up the passion he developed during his tenure there—electric cars. For 25 years while at the university, he edited a newsletter on electric vehicles, and after retirement, he continued to be involved in the experimental-vehicle community. "I'm a scientist, basically, and the universe intrigues me," says the Boulder, Colorado, man. "I feel that we ought to honor the environment. The Lord gives it to us, so we should take good care of it." (And yes, besides advocating for electric vehicles, he drives a Prius, the Toyota hybrid. "We're actually on our second," he says.)

Altruism zaps stress Adaptive social behaviors, such as Gless's concern for the environment, contribute to stress resiliency, according to research from the National Institute of Mental Health. The research focused on measuring hormones and neurochemicals among the U.S. Army Special Forces and U.S. Navy SEALs and found that people with "a set of core beliefs that are not easily shattered, who exhibit strong faith or spiritual beliefs," are more resilient. What's more, when people look for meaning in their lives, they seem to get a boost in immune function that may keep them healthier, according to research from UCLA.


"I've got the music in me"

Thais Crowell
Age: 91
City: Mill Valley, California
Stress-reducing secret: Playing the drums

Thais Crowell has always appreciated music: she studied piano and voice in college and loved the beautiful feeling of "knowing your tone was improving, of letting the music come from not just your hand on the keys but your whole body." But after college, Crowell's life got tough. Her husband was killed by a land mine in 1945, leaving her with four small children to raise. "It was a difficult time," she says, "but the children got me through it." Crowell soon remarried, and rhythm came back into her life. She and her second husband loved to dance—and even got their kids involved. After moving into a retirement community 10 years ago, she signed up for drumming lessons and was immediately hooked. "I feel myself relaxing right away when I start drumming," she says. She currently belongs to two drumming groups and performs in concerts in the area; the groups have gained enough notoriety that filmmaker David N. Brown included them in a recent documentary. "Drumming gives me the same inspiration I used to get from the piano," Crowell says.

Music zaps stress While learning anything new has been proven to beat stress, music has a special ability to calm people. Decades of research have shown that listening to music can lower blood pressure and heart rate. A new study at the Mind-Body Wellness Center in Pennsylvania also found that playing music can significantly reduce stress.


"I don't worry about anything, and I pray about everything"

Grace Nunery
Age: 86
City: Indianapolis
Stress-reducing secret: Praying

Although Grace Nunery has been a minister's wife since graduating from college, it wasn't until she was 50 that she found her true calling. A deaf person came to see her husband about a family funeral, and Nunery recalls how awkward she felt having to write a note for something as simple as "Would you like a piece of cake?" The woman taught her to sign the word "milk" (which looks like milking a cow), and Nunery was hooked. Before she knew it, she had embarked on a ministry to the deaf that would eventually expand to a summer-camp program for deaf kids, drawing participants from all over the world. There were doubts and mishaps—like the time she accidentally translated "man's decay" as "someone here has B.O." in front of the entire congregation—but she got over it. "God put the deaf ministry in my path, I'm quite sure of it. And when it got tough, I prayed," she says. "My favorite Bible verse is 'Don't worry about anything, pray about everything, and always be thankful.'"

Prayer zaps stress Despite decades of research, there is still a great deal of conflicting evidence about the health benefits of prayer. But researchers do know that among older people, spirituality—which covers not only faith and prayer but also the close-knit support of religious communities—significantly lowers stress and improves the chances of recovering from serious illness, according to the Journal of Health Psychology.


"I exercise every single day"

Clarence Custer
Age: 90
City: Palm Coast, Florida
Stress-reducing secret: Playing tennis

Every morning, Clarence Custer hits the courts for a game of tennis. On good days, he plays for an hour and a half. On better days, he plays for three hours. And three times a week, he hikes over to the local health club and lifts weights. In fact, he's so active that he was asked to carry the torch for the Winter 2002 Olympics. The energy is nothing new. Custer began playing tennis and squash as a young man back in Youngstown, Ohio, and the familiar routine sustained him through the ups and downs of starting and selling several businesses, as well as the death of his first wife. "I love tennis, and I really look forward to playing with the same group of guys each morning—they're great fun, all in their 80s," says Custer. Best of all, there's the satisfying knowledge he can still finesse anything that comes over the net. "I can't beat him, and I'm 20 years younger," admits his wife, Joanne.

Exercise zaps stress While everyone knows exercise promotes a healthy heart, researchers are constantly learning more about how it minimizes stress. Multiple studies from the University of Colorado at Boulder have shown that physiological responses to stress from the brain, hormonal system, and immune system are all moderated by regular exercise. And while all exercise is healthy, moderately intense exercise, like tennis, significantly reduces anxiety too, according to research from the University of Missouri.

Sarah Mahoney last wrote for AARP The Magazine about becoming fit later in life ("Real Fitness," May-June 2005).

Source:
http://www.aarpmagazine.org/lifestyle/living_longer.html

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